Have you ever shrugged off a compliment or a person that says “good job”? This happens a lot with perfectionistic people because they can don’t feel like they should accept any positive statements because they feel they can always do better. See if these examples resonate.
Someone will say, “you look nice,” and your reaction is you shake your head no and make a little uncomfortable laugh.
Someone will say “great game you played,” and you can’t say thank you because you remember during the game something you didn’t do perfect.
You truly do not want to accept the compliment because you do not believe in yourself. You think they are wrong to give you the compliment. You can name a million reasons why you shouldn't accept the compliment. This self defeating behavior only hurts you in the end. Below are a few tips to try when others compliment you.
1. Practice saying thank you when you are complimented. It doesn’t come naturally, but being conscientious about verbally saying thank you will help.
2. Celebrate your accomplishments. If it is a simple accomplishment, then tell yourself good job or write down all the positives. If it is a big accomplishment, then feel good about the celebration by telling yourself it IS deserved, and you should be PROUD.
3. Try to re- phrase negative self-talk into positive phrases. Again, this takes a lot of practice before it becomes natural. For ideas on positive self talk scroll to earlier blog posts.
4. Finally, really listen to the compliments given. This is how others feel about you. Believe them, accept them, and let them be a source of strength.
Comentarios